Beginnings of a Book?

Recently I posted a status update on Facebook that said: You know you are comfortable living in China when…

The responses were hilarious to those of us that are expats living in this mystical land. At the same time repulsive to those that have never had the opportunity to experience life as we know it. I have had numerous request to start writing a book on my China Moments. I don’t believe that I have the skills to undertake such a lofty goal. I do believe that what I have seen and experienced is better for a stand up skit…but for once in my life I understand the saying, ”You had to be there.”
I really wanted to share some of the Facebook comments. All came from expats that are currently or recently resided in Nanjing, China, I did use a bit of editor prerogative to fine tune some of the comments. I will make it a goal to get photos to coordinate with all these statements.
Thank you to contributors: LW, SL, PD, CM, DC, RZ and EH for your contributions.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE COMFORTABLE

 LIVING IN CHINA WHEN….

… you fall asleep during a foot massage in room with nine Chinese strangers. ZZZZZZZZZzz.

...you burp in public and feel no need to say "excuse me".

…you need to do a pee and when you visit the toilet, someone starts gagging, and then you start gagging, and before you know it you are feeling really ill! When this stops being your reaction…you are comfortable living in China.

…when you bite into a piece of food and it has unknown bits and you have no issue with spitting it out directly on the table or floor.

…tying your plumbing together with a shoelace seems to be a viable option - clever even. Mei wen ti!!!

…you walk past the three year old taking a poo on the sidewalk and you reach into your bag and hand the parent a tissue without even breaking stride. :)


…you can sit on the bus and ignore the staring, and if you smile at someone you get a smile back, and you can giggle at the little boy playing with his willy through the split in his pants while he is sitting on his grandma's knee!


…you step on a pavement slab, it moves and sends a spray of "liquid" up your leg and you don’t freak. (Disclaimer...most of us are still working on that one.)


…you don't mind the toilet door open on a Chinese squatter while you using it. (Typically the door starts out closed but as the locks are typically broken it is inevitable that someone is going to try to walk in mid-pee. Most stalls face the main door which is never closed and you are left facing anyone lingering in the hallway and the elevators. As an extra bonus, the hand washing area is in a community sink in the hall so you get to wash your hands while observing everyone peeing around you.)


…you walk outside and take a deep breath of the highly polluted air and think, "Ahhh...fresh air."


…you walk into any restroom and expect there NOT to be any soap.
     … or toilet paper.


…you realize that the footprints on your toilet seat at home are your own!


…you no longer need to know what it is you are eating! The term 'meat' is acceptable!


…you think the traffic has improved lately, and the taxi drivers seem saner than they used to.


…you go back to the US and get irritated with how uptight Americans are about their silly rules.

…someone freaks out about something, your first thought is "she's just not used to it".


…no hygiene situation you could possibly encounter could shock you.


…your concept of a standing in a line - begins to look more like a scatter plot than an actual line.


…you have no concern about screaming at the taxi driver along with all the other passengers that just cut off your bus, causing a minor accident and delaying your ride home.

…you are able to play “Prostitute/Not a Prostitute” without a challange.


…you look at a Chinese menu and just start randomly pointing at symbols and willingly eat whatever ends up on your table.

…when you board a train with no ticket and are willing to stand on a two hour train ride and pay full price.



I am sure there will be many more to come. Till then…



Today’s Photo Wandering…

 

Lynn and I went to collect some paintings that we had framed this afternoon.  I took along the camera just to see what would jump out at me…Pretty normal China day.  Did discover that the “Pet Alley” now has pot belly pigs for sell.  The older man with the great dental work was quite enamored with us and followed us for a bit.  I took his picture and showed it to him.  The size of his smile was just delightful.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I have this love of mannequins. I need to do just a photo blog on mannequins of the world. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is not ultra affordable housing this is pretty middle class area.

 

 

 

The Pictures I went to pick up..one is a scroll that a local artist gave me.  Well, he gifted me the watercolor and I had it made into a traditional scroll.  The blue picture is a watercolor that I purchased at a Hopeful Heart Fundraiser. 

IKEA Daycamp?

A neighbor and I decided to do a little mindless wander through the Nanjing IKEA yesterday afternoon.  We found it strange that there was about 10 photographers around the store posing their friends at the various display rooms.
Of course we had to speculate on why they were doing this.  My favorite theory were that they were all signing up for the new "China" version of Facebook and they were going to Photoshop all the price tags out of the pictures and use the photos to show how they live while looking for that lucky foreigner to marry and take them away.  Most of the models were female and all the photographers were male.
Reality was probably more to there being a photography class using IKEA as a project shoot. Either way, I was entertained.

THEN, we strolled through the kid's area of the store.  You know where all the prince and princess buy their frog sheets and tiara styled mosquito netting.  One one of the displays a young lady was playing on her cell phone while her little one was making use of the furniture.
Really?  Do you just decide that hey, junior needs a nap, lets cruise on down to IKEA for a little nappy-poo?  Do you think to yourself, hey junior sure is cranky, I think that I will just lay her down so for a little rest here in the middle of the store.
At the same time, I get it.  Most of the Chinese do not have A/C in their homes and it is freaking hot.  IKEA has A/C and you can wander their for hours in the maze of household goods that you never realized you cannot live without.  They have a big food court that for just a few dollars you can have a snack and read your book or in the China way, play on your cell phone.  I also understand that most of the the people do not have their own vehicles and though they have no issue transporting several family members on a scooter at one time. And if Baby is asleep it is a bit more of a challenge to do this...and I guess I would rather see them doing this then trying to steer a motorized bike and hold on to slumbering junior all at the same time.
For the American in me though, this is just odd.  We would never do this.  One, if junior needs a nap and we are out shopping, they are in the stroller or in our arms.  We wouldn't stop in the middle of an outing to let junior have a little sleep, we would go home or just push forward.  We wouldn't make us of a store display to let our little on take a nap, can you imagine the sales associates dismay.
Of course, I too have a camera so I snapped this little gem of a moment.  We continued on with our browsing till I got the kitchen area and a momma was letting her toddler pee on the end cap display.  TIME TO GO...

Need to get my act together…

It has been a hectic few weeks in our household.  I have a lot going through my mind and have not been focused enough to put thoughts into words. 

My grandfather was in the hospital with complications to COPD.  He is back home now and seems to be doing better. I don’t get regular updates with that branch of my family, no news is good news.

My mother in law was also in the hospital this past month, well, actually she has been in twice this past month.  She too is doing better.

I have been fighting some strain of respiratory infection for the past few weeks.  Probably due to air quality…or lack of quality.  There was a huge dust storm blowing across China last week add that to the spring season and my sinuses are on hyper drive.

I am leaving tomorrow for Malaysia and Bali.  I need this respite desperately.  I am hoping that 10 days of sun and ocean breezes will clear not only my sinus issues but also my manic mindset.

I will post from the beach if I can find the wireless…if not. Back here mid April. 

Have a fantastic Easter and Blessed Pascha.

Tangshan Easpring Hot Spring Spa….

Last evening (3/5/2010), Bill, Catherine and I went to the Tangshan Easpring Hot Spring Resort outside of Nanjing, China. 

To drive from central Nanjing to Tangshan took nearly an hour due to the 630pm Friday night traffic congestion and the rainy (see FUGLY) weather.  It would only be a 30 minute or so ride in ideal conditions, not that we ever see those here in China.  For those of you that are locals it is on the highway to Shanghai, two tolls.  Get with me for specifics.

We arrived around 730.  To be honest I wasn’t sure what I was walking into…some random thoughts were the lack of hygiene in some of these establishments?  The weather was yucky, what if the “hot'” springs were really hot.  We being expats really stand out in the crowd…what if there are one million of my newest Chinese friends suffocating me and not giving me any personal space…how relaxing is that going to be? 

Can you tell I am the glass is half empty type of gal right now?

  What I discovered was a very nice facility that had recently been renovated.  There was a nice hotel (3 or 4 star, by western standards) attached to the spa’s, as we were only planning to stay for several hours I cannot promise what the rooms were really like outside of the flyers posted at the check-in desk.  Admission to the spa’s is around 150RMB each but Princess Catherine was able to obtain entry for less with all of her VIP connections. All you need to bring is your swimwear, flip flops and passport.  As it is a hotel and they give you a bracelet for your locker they hold the passport as collateral, like all Chinese hotels. Nothing guarantees payment like holding our passports hostage.  They do have flip flops and you can purchase or rent swimwear – I think not.  I will use my own – but thank you. 

After paying our entry fee we were escorted to the dressing/locker rooms.  Our little escort showed us how to use the lockers, they are electronically opened with your bracelet and then you double lock them with a key when you go out to the pools.  So pretty safe lockers.  Then one of the hostess pointed us to the showers for a pre-spa rinse, then you are given a nice robe and show out of the lockers to the pools…first impression…”Holy Crap it is cold.” Second impression….”Look at the waterfall and all the steam – Nice!”  Third impression…”Where are all the Chinese?”

I think due to the weather and that we arrived later in the evening  the crowds that may have been there – were not.  I like to think that they knew the Laowai (foreigners) were coming and wanted to give us ample elbow room…I maybe wrong.

There were dozens of pools to sit in…warm, scented, minerals, hot, freaking hot, ohmigod i just boiled my skin off hot.  Many to chose from we started with the massaging waterfalls and worked out way through several others.  At first the staff tried to guide us from one to the other but I think they soon realized that Catherine was more of a challenge to direct then other Laowai’s.  We love that about her.

There was a hot marble napping area that was set up like the Roman baths, right down to the cherub fountains.  Little nooks that the marble floor is heated by the steam below it with small terry cloth mats to lay on and take a little break from the soaking.  There was also several tables and lounges set up around the grounds that if the weather was more friendly you could sit and read a book or soak up some sun if you were so inclined.  Several staff were walking around offering complimentary beverages, soda’s, water, juice and beer. Being that we are in China the other complimentary item being offered was cigarettes.  There is a whole process of presenting smokes as part of a “making a connection” thing.  How you offer, receive, light and partake.  Think Mafia, Communism meets the Marlboro Copy Copy Man….

After getting really warm and toasty in one of the hotter tubs we went to the fun spa….the LITTLE FISHIES POOL.  Yes, I am talking about soaking with fish nibbling on you.  That pool was not as warm so we didn’t spend an extended amount of time with them and we had already experienced this “treat” when we were wandering around Cambodia.  There were hundreds of small, size of a nickel, fish swimming in this large pool, you get in it and sit with the water up to your chin and the fish swim up and nibble on your dead skin.  It is a freaky feeling but not uncomfortable…you have to breathe through the first few minutes and adjust to it.  I just didn’t want  them swimming into my cleavage as that would have been awkward. The story is that the more fish on you the more cleaning to be done….I guess this should be the time that I mention that Bill must have been very yummy!

We followed that up with some of the fragrant pools, lavender, rose, bamboo, aloe and jasmine to choose from…very hot and quite enjoyable.

We decide it was time to be heading back to Nanjing.  Back to the locker rooms for shower time. 

This is the Chinese portion of our program, our locker room hostess collected our robes and shooed us off to the showers.  Time to strip and bare all.  The Chinese do not have major body issues like us Americans.  In fact out of all the different nationalities I have interacted with the only ones that are more against nudity then Americans are the Islamic.  What I find interesting is the lack of personal grooming that the Chinese embrace…as Catherine commented, “There is more “bush” here then in all of Africa.”

We strip down and jump in the rain showers, shampoo, liquid soap and conditioners all provided.  Once shower time is done, you walk out and the hostess is waiting with nice warm towels, which she drapes around you and shuffles you off to your locker.  Again since we were the Laowai’s we had several staff and guest lurking around to watch our dressing process.  I really think that putting on your pants one leg at a time is universal but I know that anything we do, even getting dressed, is something of a curiosity for this inquisitive people.  Once we have dressed, we are shown to the grooming area.  I nice room with dozens of dressing tables with hair products, combs, brushes and blow dryers and Q-Tips galore.  Both Catherine and I spend several minutes, grooming but mind you, we both brought our own combs and brushes – again – we appreciate the effort but I will stick with my own comb.  I really think that I spent much longer at my table one of the hostess would have tried to dry my hair for me.  As I have insanely natural curly hair, it has a tendency to bring out the curiosity in many of my new friends.  I cannot count the number of times people have walked up to me and touched my hair.  One of the reasons for cutting it all off was to deter this behavior. 

Overall, I give the experience an above average rating.  It was nice to be able to be warm to my bones for the first time in months.  It was wonderful to be so relaxed that all I wanted to do was stay longer.  I don’t know when we will get back there but I do know that I will not hesitate to return. 

Until next time…..

Response to a Recent Facebook Request

First Child appreciation week…make your first born your profile picture.

Doesn’t this sound like such a fine idea, an all warm and fuzzy  moment? The basic idea is fine but when I read this request I got a little irked. (Irked is a word….spell check didn’t reject it, yeah me!)

Why did I take issue with this insignificant request? Am I really that easy to irritate? To the latter question, an obvious yes, to the first question…

1. I have four children that I appreciate equally. 
2. First Child….I have a First Born and an Oldest Child, these are not the same child.
3. What if my first born was actually twins? Yeah, they may be minutes apart but the lifetime of explaining I am older by 30 seconds….

My story is that I don’t like these questions. Yes, I should just ignore them. I do really well with suppressing my opinions most of the time (insert maniacal laughter by those of you that know me)….I take that back. I do a fair job (insert snicker) of suppressing my opinions in irrelevant situations. I know that this question/request does not change the world nor affect the way I chose to live my life. Maybe I need to increase the meds because I am so easily riled.

I have a whole book of questions that I cringe when someone ask me. “Where are you from?” “What is your hometown?” These always set me off and I find answering them a huge challenge. As a minor I was a military brat and as an adult a global nomad. I don’t have a “hometown”. I was born in Louisiana. My grandparents lived in the same house since the 1950’s so I think of that area as my “hometown”. I only went to kindergarten in that community. I don’t know the people of my generation. I am an outsider even there.

The other line of questioning that makes me flinch is questions about my kids. “How many do you have?” I have raised four but I gave birth to only two of the four. His, Mine and Ours…we are a successful blend of families. If I gave birth to my oldest, I would have been 14 years old. I am well aware that is possible and does happen but in the 80’s is was not as prevalent. Which leads to the inevitable statement, “Wow, you were 14/15 when you had her?” To which I have to go into the whole, His, Mine and Ours routine. I hate putting labels on my kids.

My kids are my kids, no matter how they came into my life. I look at all four of them as mine, I have raised them. We are a family. I don’t look at my “bonus” children any different then my “birth” children. They all have there pro’s and con’s but we are a great family that loves and supports each other without the labels.