I have a question for you…what do you do when you are out to dinner with a couple and one of them is embarrassingly rude to the staff?
I guess I need to be a little more specific to help you answer that question.
The other evening, Bill and I went to dinner with a couple that has also relocated to China. They are not American; I say this because Americans get a lot of bad press outside of the US and this will be seen as negative press.
Chinese restaurants are different then American – Duh. When you go out to share a meal with someone you are not only sharing food, but you also are sharing your time and spirit. Meals are not only about nutrition and business but about friendship and enjoyment. They are a way of telling your fellow diner that you want to be with them and you value their presense in your life. Many of our group meals have lasted for a couple hours. They owners will never throw you out of their place even if it is after closing time or you have finished eating and are just sitting around talking. This would be extremely disrespectful and they just will not do it.
Sequence of the meal is also different then our normal. You typically will not order one plate for each person, you order a variety of foods and the meal is served in large plates to share with the whole table. You know "family style". Also, when you place your order, you need to be aware that the food will be served in the order you requested and rice is always served last, unless you tell the staff to bring it with the meat dishes. Sodas will be served cold but the Chinese do not use ice. You can ask for it but 50% of the time it is not available. Soda is usually served by the can with a glass and normally you can find Coca Cola or Sprite, only. Water is not recommended until a certain tolerance level is obtained - gastric issues. Tea is everywhere and it too can take some adjustment time (see: gastric issues) but for the most part is very good.
Those of us from the south, iced tea are not available in restaurants, however, bottled tea is at most stores and corner stands. It is green tea - a little different in taste, specially when you first start drinking it, somewhat like drinking perfume water.
Any of you have the grandma that put a drop of perfume in your tea to make you sweeter on the inside? Tastes like that. For those that I just freaked out a little, sorry, do some more research on southern folk practices. I digress.
Back to our dinner...
We went to a great Indian place that we only recently discovered. It has the best Vegetable Samaso I have tasted and the Mutton Tikka is divine. Bill got a bottle of wine and I ordered our food and our fellow diners ordered what they want. Oh, and Chinese don’t seem to get the concept of separate bills so typically we just divide the check or in the case with this couple they spend 15 minutes going through what they ordered and pay to the dime-most of the time.
Our food starts coming out, a plate at a time. The staff brings out one plate and then in about 10 minutes brings out a second, 10 minutes more a third. This goes on and on. Now my first two items ordered came out first. The next few dishes were stuff that they ordered – things that were cooked on a grill and are cooked all night, easy to get on the table stuff. Most Chinese places cook as ordered, the basic stock is there but the individual dishes are made when ordered, so you need to be prepared to sit and visit. No fast food here.
I had told the wait staff to bring our rice when they brought the mutton. No problem. Most of the other couples choices came out in the early stages of our evening minus the rice and a bread sandwich for their teenager. REMINDER: RICE IS SERVED LAST. The bread for the sandwich is called Naan. It is hot made on a clay oven and can also be time consuming to make. My bread had just come out minutes before the sandwich. So no worries right? Oh no, the couple were fidgeting and sighing and mumbling and I am thinking, OMG here we go again.
“I am not paying for that rice. mumble, mumble, mumble. If they wanted me to pay for it they should have brought it out when they brought my food.” he kept repeating. I suggested if they were ready to go, why don't they leave the money with there son and he can ride home with us when we are all finished. Nope. Didn't work. More mumbling. I am waiting for my tea, which I ordered at the end of the meal. Note to self, order at the beginning next time. The kid wraps his sandwich to go, I think he may have been a little embarrassed too. I know that my dad used to act like this and I would want to just crawl under the table.
The gal that has been waiting on us, very attentively I might add, comes over and I ask for the check. I make an attempt to get two bills since I know there is going to be a scene with the other party’s bill. She tried but the boss man just didn’t get it. So I pay for our food: One veggie dish, four meat dishes, two plain rice, one naan, two cokes, one bottle of wine and one pot of masala tea total bill: 445 Yuan or $65.00. (FYI, the wine was nearly half the bill, that is how reasonable prices are here. Can you imagine all that food for $30 in the US.)
The father is still mumbling to whomever is listening, “I cannot believe they would take so long on rice. They can just take it off of my bill.”
So I am waiting on my tea completly dreading the next 10 minutes of my life when it begins; the great debate on whether or not to pay for the rice. The girl did bring out the rice and pack it to go with the sandwich. But oh, no. Not good enough. After several minutes of back and forth – which I am sure felt like an eternity to Bill, because the whole time the dude was arguing I am whispering to Bill, “How much was the f’ing rice? I will pay for it. Just make him shut up.”
The girl kept saying, “You ordered it, you pay for it.” The Chinese don’t get the whole western thing.
You know what, this is THEIR country, and THEY are the home team. Not us. It is their rules, their space, and their culture. We are the interlopers.
The couple settles their bill, minus the rice and walk out.
I, being me, am still embarrassed. I am done, what is this doing to my Karma? I have to live in this town and I like the food there so no one is going to mess it up for me. I go to ask for a plastic cup for the remainder of my tea and I ask the girl how much was the rice? 30 RMB - $5. All that for five stinking bucks and they put it into a container to take home - lunch tomorrow, wake up people.
Jeez…I tell the gal to give me the rice and I hand her 30RMB. I tell her I am sorry and thank you for her kindness. She doesn’t know what to do…they are not used to people acting like these people did and definitely not used to someone stepping up to fix things. I tell her boss that I want the rice and sorry for the scene. He tells me thank you and they package my tea and rice and shake my hand with a polite little bow and I leave the restaurant.
I made right by the server and the owner but I am still pissed at the dude for acting like that. They have been in this country for 6 months – when are they going to learn respect. You know that we bitch in America about all the forgieners coming to our country and not learning our language or how to drive properly or maintain their yards, whatever. How can we bitch if we are not willing to show the same respect for a country that we are visiting or relocating too. The Mexicans want to come to America for more work and better pay, I get that. I get that most Americans refuse to do the work that the Mexicans are willing to do. I have no arguement with this except if you want to live in the US and get the benifits of being in the US then dammit someone better start speaking English.
It just amazed me that we are not talking about the wealthy French or Brazilians, not even snotty Americans, no and if they were it would be still not be acceptable. Ofcourse, my evil side is ranting...how would they like it if I was in their home country, in their restaurant and at the end of the meal - I demanded my burrito for free because it didn’t taste like the ones from Taco Bell or because the chili relleno was too spicy hot not like they make it in Michigan at La Senorita’s. Take that off my bill.
Happy National Day.
at eye glasses. One of the members of our Expat family was wanting to purchase new glass and Robin, a coworker said that he know the place to get the best deal. Well, the traffic to cross the bridge was insane. I think the normal 30 minute trip took close to two hours. Everyone was going to the bridge. It is a nice bridge with some great patriotic statues. It isn't like London Bridge or San Fransisco Bridge, it just looked like a bridge. Anyway, we saw the bridge, drove over the bridge and got to the optical area.
at eye glasses. One of the members of our Expat family was wanting to purchase new glass and Robin, a coworker said that he know the place to get the best deal. Well, the traffic to cross the bridge was insane. I think the normal 30 minute trip took close to two hours. Everyone was going to the bridge. It is a nice bridge with some great patriotic statues. It isn't like London Bridge or San Fransisco Bridge, it just looked like a bridge. Anyway, we saw the bridge, drove over the bridge and got to the optical area.
