We may need an Intervention

I have hit a new low. Probably not my lowest point but definately a new low. I have hit my three weeks here in China and I am jones-ing. Bad!
I know that I am fat and I know that the lack of food choices will be a contributor to my "hopefully" loosing some pounds. That said....
I want chocolate. I want Doritos. I want Taco Bell. I want Welch's Grape Jelly.

I have been to four different grocery stores. RT-Mart, Carefour, Metro and Sougo - all chinese grocery stores that advertise "International Foods". Five stores, if you include, Wal-Mart. Yes, there is an isle or two of foods from Germany, US, Korea, Australia, England and others several others. The American foods have similiar packaging and would lead the consumer to think that they taste just like home. Absolutely. Not.

I have tried the find chinese alternatives. Cookies, chips, soda, bacon, popcorn, salt, pickles. I got nothing. So today in a moment of desperation - I ate a spoonful of Hershey's Chocolate Syrup. See Photo. I may need professional help soon.

It was chocolatey. It did taste like Hershey's. It wasn't the same. Why you ask - texture. That is right. Texture. Go to your fridge and grab your Hershey's. We all have it - for ice cream or chocolate milk, to drizzle on our brownies or as a fruit dip or to line our chocolate martini glass or...just take it out and slowly pour it into a spoon. See how slow it cascades from its lovely brown bottle. See how it swirls into the spoon and makes the little rings of chocolate delight. Smell the perfect sugar to cocoa ratio as it fills the spoon. Sorry, was going into chocolate porn mode (shaking my head)....

....my Hershey's is, in one word, RUNNY - like water from a faucet.

Sad part of this tale...I ate it. Sucked it up like a coke addict and I did it again. Someone mail me a Snickers.

Balance Grasshopper....

Easyrider...China Style.
I wake up this morning trying to get the nerve to ride the scooter all by myself. I have rode with Bill but it is time for me to get off the "bitch" seat. I am nearly 40 years old. I haven't rode a bicycle since I was in high school. Three wheeler, four wheeler, jet ski's, snow mobiles. NO problem. My cute two wheeled motorized demon scares the poop out of me...a to increase my dread....riding it in chinese traffic. I walk out on Derek's balcony to hang up laundry and across the way I see the water guy. This man puts 10 to 12 five gallon water tanks on his scooter and delivers them around town. As you can see there is barely room for a person between all the tanks. This is a normal method for deliveries in our town.
I have seen a family of four get from Point A to Point B on one scooter. Propone is delivered by an old man on a scooter 6 to 8 tanks bunged to his scooter as he weaves through crazy traffic all the while sucking on a cigarette. Not exactly an OSHA approved delivery system but they make it work here.
What is my lesson in all this...buck up cowgirl and ride. I convinced Derek to come to the parking garage with me and walk me through getting "Sally" unlocked and started. Yeah, from here forth the scooters name shall be "Sally Scooter". Derek talks me through the basics...brakes (good to know), throttle, horn. What more could a chubby 40 yr. old. american need to know. - Balance.....yeah.
I made Derek sign a confidentiality waiver to never discuss anything he may have witnessed this afternoon. Nor was he permitted to laugh out loud. Don't go asking him for his take on my lesson.
First, scooters are heavier then they appear. Two, fast is easier until you need to stop. Three, Turning is a bitch. Why is it easier to turn to the left than the right. You would think that I am right handed so the right movements would be more natural. NO! I believed I was given the finger by an angry squirrel this afternoon.
That said, I drove the scooter today...all by myself. No training wheels or nothing.