Response to a Recent Facebook Request

First Child appreciation week…make your first born your profile picture.

Doesn’t this sound like such a fine idea, an all warm and fuzzy  moment? The basic idea is fine but when I read this request I got a little irked. (Irked is a word….spell check didn’t reject it, yeah me!)

Why did I take issue with this insignificant request? Am I really that easy to irritate? To the latter question, an obvious yes, to the first question…

1. I have four children that I appreciate equally. 
2. First Child….I have a First Born and an Oldest Child, these are not the same child.
3. What if my first born was actually twins? Yeah, they may be minutes apart but the lifetime of explaining I am older by 30 seconds….

My story is that I don’t like these questions. Yes, I should just ignore them. I do really well with suppressing my opinions most of the time (insert maniacal laughter by those of you that know me)….I take that back. I do a fair job (insert snicker) of suppressing my opinions in irrelevant situations. I know that this question/request does not change the world nor affect the way I chose to live my life. Maybe I need to increase the meds because I am so easily riled.

I have a whole book of questions that I cringe when someone ask me. “Where are you from?” “What is your hometown?” These always set me off and I find answering them a huge challenge. As a minor I was a military brat and as an adult a global nomad. I don’t have a “hometown”. I was born in Louisiana. My grandparents lived in the same house since the 1950’s so I think of that area as my “hometown”. I only went to kindergarten in that community. I don’t know the people of my generation. I am an outsider even there.

The other line of questioning that makes me flinch is questions about my kids. “How many do you have?” I have raised four but I gave birth to only two of the four. His, Mine and Ours…we are a successful blend of families. If I gave birth to my oldest, I would have been 14 years old. I am well aware that is possible and does happen but in the 80’s is was not as prevalent. Which leads to the inevitable statement, “Wow, you were 14/15 when you had her?” To which I have to go into the whole, His, Mine and Ours routine. I hate putting labels on my kids.

My kids are my kids, no matter how they came into my life. I look at all four of them as mine, I have raised them. We are a family. I don’t look at my “bonus” children any different then my “birth” children. They all have there pro’s and con’s but we are a great family that loves and supports each other without the labels.