AFLAC - I am so sorry.

I have come to terms with my actions and now feel the ability to communicate my transgressions and ask for your compassion and understanding at this difficult time.
I ate the duck.
Sunday noon, our landlord picked us up for a traditional Chinese lunch. I am sure the landlord has a name but everyone just calls him Landlord, like the Godfather. Landlord’s friend is the manager of a very nice restaurant in the center of town and he was our host for the afternoon. Joining us was Maria, our property manager, she has been a great help to Bill and also speaks English.
You also need to be aware that I was a little hung-over from the Welcome to China Party we had attend the night prior with several of Bill’s local friends.
They escort us through the main restaurant into a private room for our meal. It is gorgeous with formal settings and lovely Chinese china. They even gave us forks and spoons; this is a big deal here. There is a large glass turn table in the middle of the table with several bowls and plates full of food. I recognize, fruits, veggies, small cuts of meat like pâtés. I ask Maria what is what for Derek is a little pale looking. We all are making small talk…what do you think of Nanjing? How is the apartment? What would you like do for entertainment? As we talk the staff is bringing in more food. Egg soup, Fishhead soup, and glazed shrimp. Whoa, shrimp…Bill is deathly allergic. Maria explains to the landlord that Bill cannot have any seafood like shrimp, crab, and lobster. Derek is still a little pale. He is eating a lot of fruit at this point.
I was raised to try everything once. If you don’t like it at least you tried. I am going to stick to this policy. I sample the first dozen dishes. To reward my braveness I follow each sampling with a bite of fruit. I can do this, I can do this, the mantra in my head. Yet, after the Fishhead Soup, I am really questioning my ability to continue.
Landlord asked what Derek and Bill would like to order that would be more to their taste. The staff made a pork pepper steak and some fried pork patties that were very eatable. The meal continues. Out comes a plate of meat that resembles cashew chicken. YES. I can do that. I am thinking that we are going to get through this meal without causing a major rift in China/American relations. It was a nice thought, wasn't it.
I take a small amount and place it on my beautiful blue and white plate. I use my chopstick because I am a well rounded American that can learn new things. I pick up a bite and make it to my mouth without flinging it across the room (Yeah, me!) and I chew. Chew. Chew. Chew. Oh, god it isn’t going away. What is the bone? Gristle? Oh, my god is it growing. I look to Bill - HELP. Gag. Chew.
As I am dealing with this substance in my mouth, Maria announces that I am eating DUCK TONGUE. A favorite treat for the Chinese - OMG! In my head I am screaming – AFLAC!!!! Not favored. Not. Favored. The chewy bits are actually cartilage from the beak. Not. Favored.
I ended up spitting the vile food out into a napkin and then putting that napkin under the table without anyone being the wiser. I hope.
Lunch continues and there are a numerous other unrecognized plates. Bill is enjoying the spicy stuff. He has beads of sweat over his brow. Derek and I are sticking to the various fruit plates and nibbling on the fried pork. The meal is completed with a bowl of porridge. Yes, like Tale of Two Cities or Charles Dickenson. "Please, Sir, Can I have more?" Yeah, that kid was starving...truely. We are talking about a bland bowl of rice based goo with some floating bits. Swirl it around, pretend to nibble. Yum....done. It wasn't an Oscar award performance...but definately qualified for Golden Globe. Get it Globe - China - Earth. Man, I need a hobby.
Landlord drives us back to the apartment and we thank him repeatedly for his generosity and his kindness. It was a very nice gesture to our family. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I finally get up to the apartment and spent several hours in my bedroom trying to figure out if I was going to be sick or not. Look at me big bad adventurer going to puke my guts out.

I assure you that I will never, never ever eat the duck tongue again.

Weary Weekend

I cannot believe how glad I am for this weekend to be done. I need to time to recuperate.

Friday was a “normal” evening. It had rained for several days but Friday was a deluge. All the sidewalks were flooded; the lovely water features around the grounds were overflowing. We are in the middle of the rainy season in China; the good part of the rain is that if finally dropped below 80 degrees. Bill had to work late so Derek and I just hung around the house and watched bad TV. Most TV here is BAD TV.

Saturday was better weather wise. Bill, Derek and I were picked up by Brown. Brown, a co-worker of Bill’s, had agreed to take us to purchase a new motorbike (scooter) for us. Brown knows people. He was taking us to a distributor that would get us a better price since we were cutting out the middle man. It is my understanding that we could get an even better price but the scooter was likely stolen. Since I have no desire to see the interior of a Chinese prison, I chose to go with the legal option. Three hours later we are the proud owners of a new Prince. I went with the cobalt blue with a storage box on the back. Bill got them to add an alarm and automatic starter. I can start my bike from the sixth floor. I guess that alarm is a good idea with the active stolen bike market. They also gave us rain gear for all three of our scooters and mirrors for Derek’s scooter.

After driving the scooter back to the apartment and thanking Brown for his assistance. Bill, Derek and I returned to the downtown area for HOTPOT lunch. We went to the street that has bike accessories and bought all of us helmets. Good idea! On to the RT-MART for grocery shopping. Trying to get a taxi back home was not easy. Actually it didn’t happen. We tried but they all kept driving pass. I was beyond done. Occasionally one finds that there are people that don’t want to deal with us westerners. It is not very warm and fuzzy and to be honest….this westerner was ready to start flinging “the bird” freely. Thank God the weather was agreeable since we walked for miles. We ended up at Fugimia (Still not spelled correctly) I bought new shoes for $2.50 and Burger King. Around Fugi is a few million taxis’s so we were able to catch a ride the remainder of the way home.

Nap time. Evening closed out with Bill and I going to Double 7 Club. A great little bar downtown to watch a couple bands. The bands were good and the rum and cokes were iced. We met a number of locals that have been entertaining Bill and it was a good evening. I will explain the locals in more detail at a later date. The bands were really entertaining. I didn’t catch all the names but the main guitar player is “Steve Ray” and he is damn good. Good Music + Good Drinks + Fun People = HANGOVER!

Which leads me into Sunday but that will have to wait for tomorrow. It is Nap Time Again.