Bill and I have been married for 16 years and in that time we have had one address in Kansas, three address’s in Michigan (four if you count temp housing at the Love’s Farm), two addresses in Louisiana (same school district), one in Kentucky and currently two in China. If you just count moves that required a change of school districts, we are currently at our SEVENTH location. Why do I count moves by the school districts? I was raised as a Military Brat; my childhood consisted of moving every two to three years. I remember where I lived by what grade I was in and in my 40 years on this planet I have had thirty three different mailing addresses. This is a venue that I know well. The newest buzz words for this lifestyle are Global Nomads or Third Culture Families. We are the souls that live in a community but do not belong, we do have our own base (American, Canadian, Korean, German, etc.) culture, but we are going to hang out in yours for a period of time and then move on.
Why am I dwelling on this today?
There have been several changes in our little community in the past couple of months. We have had a number of families return to their home countries. The Decker’s to Colorado, the Little’s to the DC area, Henke’s to Germany, Arenburg’s to Colorado, Salisbury’s to Michigan, Petra to a different city in China, Ben to Canada (though he is now in southern China) and there are several others that I cannot think of as I type. Those are the families that have left as of today. Due to leave is the Grove’s and the DeBoer’s both will be returning to the US in August, Sonja will probably be leaving this fall to be followed soon after by Romayne’s family. Besides these families leaving Nanjing the majority of them lived in Yulan, our compound, not only were they friends but literally neighbors. I will never underestimate the joy of going for a walk after dinner and meeting up with a friend you can communicate with, if you squint real hard and don’t smell to ozone you can pretend that you are in your home country. (It is a little game we play called…I am not in China.)
Here is the thing: I don’t want to go home but I am jealous of them being back to a familiar ground, going back to where life has something of an “easy” button. At the same token, several of them are jealous of those of us that are staying here where we are treated as either princess or circus freaks, where you can buy a meal for your family for $5 and not be fast food. There are pro’s and con’s to either situation.
Yes, we do like it here. We do like the opportunities that being here gives us both professionally and personally. I am not eager to return to the US or elsewhere because I am happy here. I enjoy my time of being treated like a princess and I am grateful for the chance to travel to these exotic locations. Honestly, if we were in the states there is no way I would have gone to Cambodia or to Thailand or the meet the Shaolin Monks or do any of the other amazing things that we have done this year. For that alone, I love being in China.
The hardest part of these changes is that these women have become my “easy” button. If I cannot figure out how to do something or get somewhere or just need the shoulder to cry on….these women have been my strength.
Susan Decker has been my ‘mother of teenagers’ role model. She has taught me how to handle the school and how to be an effective parent in a country that you feel completely out of control. She was the one that I would call when I need a cheerleader or just need someone to make me leave my house. She introduced me to most everyone else and helped make living here doable on the day to day stuff. I cannot tell you how vital she was to my loving China. Susan was the glass is half full, play nice, if you cannot say something nice don’t say anything at all….my positive role model. This is definitely needed because there is a significant amount of negativity in this lifestyle.
Tammy is my favorite blankie friend. You know when you just need someone to get you, your jokes, your sarcasm or your need to squeeze someone neck till their eyeballs popped out of their head. Tammy was my girl. Tammy is the health nut; yes it is possible for a donut loving couch potato to best buds with a person that thinks running and sweating is FUN. Tammy has been a positive influence on the size of my ass; it has shrunk during our friendship. Tammy was the one that I got stuck in the elevator with, you may recall that story. We spent a lot of our time shopping and wandering around Nanjing, if it had not been for her willingness to jump on the bus and see where we ended up , I would never learned this city as well as I do. Tammy is also the ring leader for our big group parties. New Years was legendary. Tammy was the one that I can crack a joke with an very American references and she would just fall over laughing, nobody else would because they just don’t get me like Tammy does…that is such a necessary thing, for someone to get you! You have no idea how frustrating it is to explain jokes to the Brits or Germans, or the French are the worst, they just don’t get you, period.
Erika is another amazing woman leaving soon. I haven’t spent nearly enough time with her but the time I have has been a riot. She is the class clown of the group. She is one of those people that you just cannot help to be happy when you are around her. She just lightens up a room. Sarcasm though this woman has it mastered.
I could go on and on with each woman and what they have given to me and what I hope to keep from our time spent together. Maybe I will save that for another day… requiem to my friends.
I leave you with the words of Mr. David Bowie:
Strange fascination, fascinating me
Ah changes are taking the pace I’m going through
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes (turn and face the strain)Ch-ch-changes
Oh, look out you rock n rollers
Oh, look out you rock n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes (turn and face the strain) Ch-ch-changes
Pretty soon now you’re gonna get a little older
Time may change me, But I can’t trace time
I said that time may change me, But I can’t trace time
Tammy, Moi, Susan, Erika and Katherine
at on Susan's last night in Nanjing
Tammy, Erika and I surprised Susan at the Airport. We just couldn't stand to see her go...(disclaimer: women in the photo don't look as bad as they may appear, it was buttcrack early in the morning. I promise!)
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