Holy Geez, Batman. Where did all this grey hair come from? Why didn’t someone tell me that my distinguishing Cruella Deville stripe as exploded all over my freaking head?
Why didn’t someone send me a text telling me that my hair was the same color of roofing shingles?
Who the hell broke into my house and colored by hair while I was sleeping?
Is it the same person that keeps “photoshop”ing that bald spot on my husband?
Why? Why? Why?
I apologize for any discomfort my rapid aging has caused you – my fresh and never aging peers. I know how difficult it must be for you to look upon my obvious deterioration and wonder how the God’s could be so cruel to one so vivacious.
I am going Monday to try to correct this gross injustice. Please light some incense in my honor since I am intrusting my curly locks to a Chinese man who probably has never worked on natural curly hair.
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