Recently I posted a status update on Facebook that said: You know you are comfortable living in China when…
The responses were hilarious to those of us that are expats living in this mystical land. At the same time repulsive to those that have never had the opportunity to experience life as we know it. I have had numerous request to start writing a book on my China Moments. I don’t believe that I have the skills to undertake such a lofty goal. I do believe that what I have seen and experienced is better for a stand up skit…but for once in my life I understand the saying, ”You had to be there.”
I really wanted to share some of the Facebook comments. All came from expats that are currently or recently resided in Nanjing, China, I did use a bit of editor prerogative to fine tune some of the comments. I will make it a goal to get photos to coordinate with all these statements.
Thank you to contributors: LW, SL, PD, CM, DC, RZ and EH for your contributions.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE COMFORTABLE
LIVING IN CHINA WHEN….
… you fall asleep during a foot massage in room with nine Chinese strangers. ZZZZZZZZZzz.
...you burp in public and feel no need to say "excuse me".
…you need to do a pee and when you visit the toilet, someone starts gagging, and then you start gagging, and before you know it you are feeling really ill! When this stops being your reaction…you are comfortable living in China.
…when you bite into a piece of food and it has unknown bits and you have no issue with spitting it out directly on the table or floor.
…tying your plumbing together with a shoelace seems to be a viable option - clever even. Mei wen ti!!!
…you walk past the three year old taking a poo on the sidewalk and you reach into your bag and hand the parent a tissue without even breaking stride. :)
…you can sit on the bus and ignore the staring, and if you smile at someone you get a smile back, and you can giggle at the little boy playing with his willy through the split in his pants while he is sitting on his grandma's knee!
…you step on a pavement slab, it moves and sends a spray of "liquid" up your leg and you don’t freak. (Disclaimer...most of us are still working on that one.)
…you don't mind the toilet door open on a Chinese squatter while you using it. (Typically the door starts out closed but as the locks are typically broken it is inevitable that someone is going to try to walk in mid-pee. Most stalls face the main door which is never closed and you are left facing anyone lingering in the hallway and the elevators. As an extra bonus, the hand washing area is in a community sink in the hall so you get to wash your hands while observing everyone peeing around you.)
…you walk outside and take a deep breath of the highly polluted air and think, "Ahhh...fresh air."
…you walk into any restroom and expect there NOT to be any soap.
… or toilet paper.
…you realize that the footprints on your toilet seat at home are your own!
…you no longer need to know what it is you are eating! The term 'meat' is acceptable!
…you think the traffic has improved lately, and the taxi drivers seem saner than they used to.
…you go back to the US and get irritated with how uptight Americans are about their silly rules.
…someone freaks out about something, your first thought is "she's just not used to it".
…no hygiene situation you could possibly encounter could shock you.
…your concept of a standing in a line - begins to look more like a scatter plot than an actual line.
…you have no concern about screaming at the taxi driver along with all the other passengers that just cut off your bus, causing a minor accident and delaying your ride home.
…you are able to play “Prostitute/Not a Prostitute” without a challange.
…you look at a Chinese menu and just start randomly pointing at symbols and willingly eat whatever ends up on your table.
…when you board a train with no ticket and are willing to stand on a two hour train ride and pay full price.
I am sure there will be many more to come. Till then…
