Much to be Thankful for...even when I am being whinny.

Happy Autumn!

Bailey, My Fur Grandbaby

So the Indian blood in me has an issue with the whole celebration of the colonization of our mother land by the invading pilgram's with their shiny beads, guns and diseases.  Yet, still this is one of my favorite holidays as it it the time I get to spend with friends or family, the faces are depending on which continent I am residing in but the happiness is the same.  Typically this holiday is all about the food, laughter, much less stress than Christmas gatherings. But this year I find myself sitting here in the US of A, which means I should be surrounded by family and extended family but I not, I am alone in my daughters house with the dog as my only company.

How did this happen?  My tooth.  Thanks to a traumatic dental surgery on Monday the idea of traveling was not in the scope of pain management possibilities.  I recognized my limits and chose to stay home and send the kids on to their previous and highly anticipated gatherings.

Here I am...alone but not lonely, embracing the tranquility, recuperating and having a solid time to reflect on what there is in my life to be thankful for...it is an extensive list.

I have this amazing group of characters in my life from my husband to the friends we have adopted as our family.  I have these kids that continue to impress me with their ethics and determination, I have to reminding myself that I helped do that!  I have these grandchildren that are just nothing but brightness in my life.  I have a couple core friends that I know I will grow old with and we will be laughing at the same jokes and keeping our conversations moving forward for decades to come.  We all are easily distracted and stories can take days to get told.  :) I have these interesting and much appreciated social family that I don't see often, if ever, but when I need a word of cheer or support...they are always there...day or night.  Finally, I have my Hubster.  The man that makes my life an adventure and supports me and my crazy ideas without question.  Love you eternal!

No  Turkey today... chicken soup, donuts and
watermelon for dessert and snack tray.

I am a lucky lucky girl with much to be appreciative of and so today I will celebrate all the people that make my world full and balanced.

And most importantly, I will make an effort to do something for someone that is not as fortunate as I am today.

Happy Appreciation Day!

A Kaleidoscope Called Bangkok: Arrival – Day One

Cleaning out the blog files and I ran across this draft from 2009 that I don't think I ever posted.  Delete it or put it out there....and the winner is_______!  

We are celebrating our 8th year of living in China and have been back to Thailand many times since this was originally wrote.  I still look on this trip as the beginnings of my love of South Asia.  Catherine and I are still doing random, truly aimless travels though my husband and I are now avid scuba divers and we spend more time in the ocean than the cities surrounding them.


I have just returned from a short getaway to the magically country of Thailand. August is my birth month and to celebrate my 41st my beloved gave me the gift of a long weekend in Bangkok, he is so good to me.

My travel partner was Catherine which many of you know from my previous adventures. We flew out of Shanghai on a late evening flight arriving in Bangkok around 1am. I highly recommend these late night flights as they are less crowded making customs and crowding much less challenging. Plus the city lights are so pretty and shiny.

My first impression of Thailand was somewhat muted thanks to my flying regiment of a couple of Xanax. (I am not a comfortable flyer.) This fuzzy perception was a bonus since the taxi drivers  seem to be in a hurry to get from A to B. China is so congested that traffic rarely gets over 45KMH, whereas the Bangkok drivers seem to think 110 KMH is a nice cruising speed. Yes, it is one of my control issues and I was a bit unsettled. Surviving the ride we arrived at our accommodations. The Sheraton Royal Orchid which sits along the Chao Phraya River. (Very nice and cannot wait to stay there again.)
Chao Phraya is the main water way that weaves through central Bangkok; it is also the best way we found to transverse the city. Many of the Wats (Temples) and markets are just blocks from a  ferry/water taxi docks and rides were cheap, average 18 baht (0.50 USD). Taxis are very clean and very well air conditioned, however, the traffic in inner Bangkok is far too congested if you want to save time use alternative transportation, if you want to cool off at the end of your day back to the hotel and don’t mind being stuck in traffic – GO FOR IT! Bangkok also has a great sky rail system and subway line. We didn’t use the subway but the skyway was fabulous and easy to manage, 120 baht ($3.40) will get you a day pass, single rides can run between 20 to 60 baht, also the maps that are provided at the skyway terminals are wonderful and free.

Catherine (Aussie) has lived in Asia for many years and has been to Bangkok many several times, she was gracious enough to humor me on revisiting some of the sights she had previously seen and played tour guide. Our first day was however, dedicated to the new.
Catherine had been told of a shrine was dedicated to the Goddess Chao Mae TipTum. In Thai the word taptim  means pomegranate which evokes fertility. The shrine as built by Nai Lert for the Goddess who lived in the ficus tree. These shrines/spirit houses are all over Bangkok and southern Asia. Typically they are smaller in structure that people leave offerings to such as food, drink and flowers. TipTum’s spirit house has taken on the offerings of fertility, phallus symbols, thousands of them. Small penis, big penis, wood penis, plastic penis, six foot tall penis it is a veritable forest of penises. What I found most macabre aspect about this penis shrine is that it is located in the back corner of the parking area of a 5 Star hotel. I know that there is several visitors, all the  offerings stand testament to the fact but we literally strolled through the staff areas of this resort to gain access to the shrine. I did read that the hotels would remove the shrine as it has to be somewhat embarrassing to a family friendly resort to have this sexually graphic shrine but the bad mojo that would be created by removing would be astronomical. I am willing to bet that the shrine is not a feature on their travel guides.

It seems that anywhere you walk in Bangkok there is a shopping opportunity. As Catherine and I strolled around the area (honestly, we were a little lost) we passed numerous street vendors selling the odds and ends that us tourist seem to be enamored with several of the vendors were deaf and I put the good karma out there and bought a trinket or two. We finally spotted the sign directing us to the restaurant hidden amongst a million other signs of various sizes and colors. How anyone  finds anything here is just mind boggling, at least the signs are in English and Thai unlike the Chinese only signs here in Nanjing. Also the English was in direct relation to the purpose of the store. In China, Happy Shoes is actually a  frame shop. Go figure.
Cabbages and Condoms, our chosen restaurant, was developed as a promotion/fund raiser for the PDA, The Population and Community Development Association. The PDA was established in 1974 as a nongovernmental agency that promotes Family Planning at a grass roots level. Thailand and Cambodia are known for their sex trade industry. Thailand first AIDS case was reported in 1984, there are now over one million AIDS cases in Thailand at its current rate it is predicted that by soon one in every three deaths will be AIDS related. Cabbages and Condoms as a result to the AIDS crisis, money received by patrons goes to promote AIDS awareness and protection. The food was wonderful and the cause even better. Instead of the after dinner mints each patron receives a condom and as you exit the building there is a bin with condoms for your taking. There is the obligatory gift shop filled with small items for the tourist (yes, I bought the T-shirt) and also local arts and crafts are on display to include several mannequins and flower arrangements done out of, you guessed it condoms. If you ever get to Bangkok, pay it forward.

Pool time, yes, that is right. All this fun is wore me out and it is time to hang out at the pool. I will explain about the heat later. Catherine and I made a point of returning to the hotel each afternoon to cool off at the pool. Nothing is better than afternoon cocktails pool side, followed by clothes change and to the Tower Lounge for snacks and more cocktails. Catherine is in the hotel business and this makes traveling with her somewhat of a challenge. You see, you get treated like beyond VIP, it is something short of being a princess. The staff is more attentive and you get these great perks like free snacks and drinks every evening. I have been very spoiled by Catherine and I appreiciate everything that she does but I will never want to stay at a “regular hotel” again.

To finish out our first day in Bangkok and to keep on the Penis Day Theme, we decided that a trip to the PatPong. PatPong is the red light district of Bangkok. In the 1960’s this area was established by the US GI’s that were on leave from Vietnam. Today it is as they say in Thailand “Same Same”. The beer is still there as are the girls but with the modern twist of the tourist market and this is now the “gay district”. Thailand recently been crowned the number one location for plastic surgery on the cheap, this includes transsexual  surgery. The number of men that are now women is amazing and what is scary is that they look beautiful, like Angeline Jolie looks butch compared to these women/men/women. PatPong still has its sexual deviant element that makes Bourbon Street in New Orleans look like amateur hour. There is a woman and a ping pong ball and my only comment is WTF! No, I did not go there in fact I thought I would have to poke my eyes out after the street promoter tried to invite us in but really WTF. I am not a women’s libber - I don’t do the activist thing, I try to be the supportive - keep my karma or mojo, whatever you want to label it as, on a positive side of the scales. PatPong made me feel dirty, violated and enraged.

My suggestion to anyone that reads this blog – DO NOT go to PatPong. The market is significantly over priced  and the side business is disheartening. During the time I was in PatPong I was listening to my inner voice saying this is so wrong, now that I have had time to reflect I am aware that the “sex trade market” exists due to supply and demand. Most of the establishments are Thai Mafia connected so the girls are not being taken care of and are but a small step away from slavery. What I am going to take from my experience is the awareness that even in today’s big old modern world, there are still pockets of humanity that need saving, I am not a warrior or a liberator but I am a voice and when people ask me about Thailand I will clearly state that PATPONG is to be avoided, shunned, not supported. Remove the demand and the providers will follow.
More to come….Day Two…

Scooter VS Gary's Car

On 12/04/2010, a lovely Saturday afternoon in Nanjing, China, Bill and I were taking Gary and his daughter, Lianne to Chao Tian Gong.  Chao Tian is also known by the expate community at “The Dirt Market” or “The Antique Market”.

Gary decided that he wanted to drive his personal car into the city as he has done on several occasions.  Typically Bill and I opt for local transportation, buses or taxi’s, to do our exploring in town.  Bill and Gary both have Chinese driver’s license and both are able to drive anywhere in China.  I know that I have previously commented on the insane traffic flow in our community.  All the signs are in Chinese characters, the Chinese drivers themselves have a “kill or be killed” driving style and add in a few thousand bikes and scooters per block and you have the recipe for chaos.  I personally will never drive here; my nerves are not that strong. 

Gary and Lianne come by Yulan Villa to collect Bill and me at 2 o’clock, plenty of time for a nice leisurely stroll through the Dirt Market.  We made it to the market in great time with no major snafu’s, on to find parking. Another reason why public transportation is a more manageable form of relocation is due to the extreme lack of public parking.  Gary found a spot going in the opposite direction and he proceeded to execute a three point turn.  A simple enough skill which he executed like a professional; HOWEVER…

As he was putting the vehicle into reverse to Parallel Park. SMACK, Scooter interfaces with front driver side tire. 

She, a Chinese female scooter driver, hit our stationary vehicle.  Fortunately, she just hit the tire with her pedal; her scooter was one of the cheap pedal/electric varieties.  Unfortunately, her pedal had a slight bend in its shaft. 

*Cue disaster music…dunn dunn dunn da…dunn dunn dunn daaaa*

The Chinese have very defined road rules.  If the Chinese drivers were to actually utilize two-thirds of their laws, China would be one of the safest countries to drive in…BUT they don’t.  Add that to the law that if your scooter is below a 35cc, you don’t have to have a license, it is more of a fast bike and thus 90% of the scooters are 35cc or less. 

*Dunn dunn dunn daaaaa (DDDA)*

Our scooter lady whom we will now refer to as NINNY, as in Nimrod, Nincompoop, Numb Nuts you get the idea.  Ninny is enraged.  How dare our non-moving vehicle get in her way?  How dare we cause her distress and a bent pedal? 

She called the Police.  *DDDA* 

When you have an accident in China, you don’t move your vehicle until the police arrive to make a judgment on fault, take photos (usually with their cell phone) and settle any financial agreement or issue tickets.  It doesn’t matter if you are in the highest traffic flow area of the city or on an elevated highway, if you have a fender bender; you are fully expected to jam up all traffic around you as you await the Police.  Which brings up Police response time, could be 10 minutes or could be HOURS! 

The other thing the Chinese find perfectly acceptable is to gather in masses to lurk at the scene of an accident or argument.  It is a spectator sport to them, add a few foreigners to the scene and you got the makings for a spectacle.  Oh, yeah baby, I should have been selling tickets.  “Step right up, See the White People.  Step right up, see the giants.  Get your tickets.  Step right up.”

 While waiting for the police, Ninny is telling everyone that will stop to listen how the big bad Laowai (foreigners) jumped their big vehicle in front her little bitty scooter. My Chinese is not great but usable.  So I proceed to tell everyone how Ninny hit a parked car. Not allowed, unacceptable, ridiculous.  The spectators are gathering and laughing…many Chinese think that if they are hit by a foreigner that it is MONEY.  *insert sound:  “cha-ching”*.  Others are laughing at Ninny for her obvious lack of driving skills and for my ability to tell her such. I am also at this time, making nice with the spectators, telling them how adorable their babies are, talking to the elderly, how are you, thanks for coming. I took pictures of the vehicles and the crowds.  I stood on the railing of Gary’s vehicle and tried to get them to do a group wave for me…yah, that didn’t translate well. *Bwwwwaaahaaahaa*

A 1/2 hour later, Mr. Policeman arrives.  What Bill did do prior to the arrival of THE LAW was call one of our Chinese contacts that is bilingual and explained the situation and had them on stand-by for translation assistance.  About 50% of the police are able to speak a bit of English but considering the possibility for the things to go wrong quickly, it is a good idea to have options.  Mr. Policeman is a charming looking young guy, reminded me of Yao Ming the basketball player just not a bazillion feet tall, from here forth the Policeman will be referred to as Yao Ming. 

You can tell Yao was flustered with the large group of people and the accident involving the Laowai.  He spoke to Ninny and inspected the damage to the scooter.  He tried to talk to Gary to get his version.  Gary’s Chinese is much worse than mine so I started translating (God help us.) Through some charades and basic words, he understood what we were saying.  He verified Gary’s documents (license), all were in line.  He then speaks to Ninny again…who we know is really damsel in distress playing for the crowd.  Was that a tear I saw?  Sweet Baby Jesus….time to call the translator!

Here is another quirky China Vehicle Law.  The vehicle that is largest is always responsible for the smaller vehicle in any moving violation accident.  So as long as you hit something larger then you…then the larger party is responsible…even if the larger vehicle isn’t moving.  Pedestrian vs. Bike…Pedestrian wins.  Bike vs. Scooter…Bike Wins.  Scooter vs. Car…Scooter Wins.  Car vs. Bus…Car Wins. Pedestrian vs. Bus…Pedestrian Wins…ok reality is BUS ALWAYS WINS.  I think the rickshaws are the wild card in the scooter/bike/rickshaw equation.

Our translator talks to Yao, more random hand gestures and lots of ok ok ok.  Yao returns me the phone.  Our translator tells me that Yao understands that Ninny is a moron.  However, Chinese Law says Car Bigger…Car Bad.  Yao wants to keep Gary’s documents.  Ninny is going to go get her bike fixed and bring the invoice to the Police Department.  Gary can come to the police department in 48 hours and pay for the repairs and collect his documents or he can bring his insurance person and the insurance person will pay the repairs and collect Gary’s documents.  I respond in a most perplexed voice, “Uh……. No…...  Gary has to go to train station to pick up his wife who is flying in today from Germany after attending her father’s funeral. (I am not making this up.) How is he to drive with no papers?  The insurance…this is a car owned by (an undisclosed Chinese Government Owned Company) .  Do you want me to go wake Chairman Mao to tell him that Ninny hit us while we are stationary and now I need him to come hold my hand and sign off on a less than $10 repair? Uh, no.” Then I threw out there the Chinese answer to getting things done fast and painless.  “How much is it going to cost to make her go away?  50RMB? 100RMB?  Really, we got things to do and places to go…so really, what will it take to make Ninny go AWAY…” Ok, so this question wasn’t completely painless. Gary did have to get to the train station to pick up his wife.  I was nearly 2 hours into this scenario.  I was done.  I hated to throw money at a woman that was obviously prolonging a situation for economic gain but really, I was overdone, put a fork in me and please dear Lord let me get on with my life. 

I hand the phone back to Yao…translator to Yao….Yao to Ninny, who is now got her cousin or someone on the phone with the scooter repair people.  Twenty more minutes of blah blah blah.  Yao hands me the phone, translator says, “100 RMB and it will all be taken care of, no more to do.” I looked at Gary and told him to pay the lady; this is two hours of my life gone.  He gave the money to Yao.  Yao then shakes hands with all of us and gives me this adorable shy grin.  He knows this is just wrong but what is he going to do?  I know it is wrong but what am I going to do?  If it was my car, would I have done differently?  Probably not.  These scenarios are ridiculous.  It is extortion.  Yao gives the money to Ninny and Ninny happily scoots away.  Sweet Baby Jesus, please let Karma exist and let her be judged wanting.

What do you do?  If you are me, you go for foot rubs, steak dinner at Jimmy’s, meet up with a bunch of friends and drink a few Vodka and Tonics.  Oh, but before that you send Gary to collect his wife at the station and then return their car to his apartment and threaten him within an inch of his life if he ever gets the notion to drive himself into the city proper again!

You know when you are comfortable living in China when....additions.

…the your local SOS doctor gives you the diagnosis of dysentery and you are relieved.

…you learn that your 10 year old is able to purchase alcohol because they are tall enough.  You just shrug your shoulders.

…when the food in the “western” restaurants actually start to taste like real American food.

                           ….and then you wonder why it doesn’t taste right when you return to the states.

Beginnings of a Book?

Recently I posted a status update on Facebook that said: You know you are comfortable living in China when…

The responses were hilarious to those of us that are expats living in this mystical land. At the same time repulsive to those that have never had the opportunity to experience life as we know it. I have had numerous request to start writing a book on my China Moments. I don’t believe that I have the skills to undertake such a lofty goal. I do believe that what I have seen and experienced is better for a stand up skit…but for once in my life I understand the saying, ”You had to be there.”
I really wanted to share some of the Facebook comments. All came from expats that are currently or recently resided in Nanjing, China, I did use a bit of editor prerogative to fine tune some of the comments. I will make it a goal to get photos to coordinate with all these statements.
Thank you to contributors: LW, SL, PD, CM, DC, RZ and EH for your contributions.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE COMFORTABLE

 LIVING IN CHINA WHEN….

… you fall asleep during a foot massage in room with nine Chinese strangers. ZZZZZZZZZzz.

...you burp in public and feel no need to say "excuse me".

…you need to do a pee and when you visit the toilet, someone starts gagging, and then you start gagging, and before you know it you are feeling really ill! When this stops being your reaction…you are comfortable living in China.

…when you bite into a piece of food and it has unknown bits and you have no issue with spitting it out directly on the table or floor.

…tying your plumbing together with a shoelace seems to be a viable option - clever even. Mei wen ti!!!

…you walk past the three year old taking a poo on the sidewalk and you reach into your bag and hand the parent a tissue without even breaking stride. :)


…you can sit on the bus and ignore the staring, and if you smile at someone you get a smile back, and you can giggle at the little boy playing with his willy through the split in his pants while he is sitting on his grandma's knee!


…you step on a pavement slab, it moves and sends a spray of "liquid" up your leg and you don’t freak. (Disclaimer...most of us are still working on that one.)


…you don't mind the toilet door open on a Chinese squatter while you using it. (Typically the door starts out closed but as the locks are typically broken it is inevitable that someone is going to try to walk in mid-pee. Most stalls face the main door which is never closed and you are left facing anyone lingering in the hallway and the elevators. As an extra bonus, the hand washing area is in a community sink in the hall so you get to wash your hands while observing everyone peeing around you.)


…you walk outside and take a deep breath of the highly polluted air and think, "Ahhh...fresh air."


…you walk into any restroom and expect there NOT to be any soap.
     … or toilet paper.


…you realize that the footprints on your toilet seat at home are your own!


…you no longer need to know what it is you are eating! The term 'meat' is acceptable!


…you think the traffic has improved lately, and the taxi drivers seem saner than they used to.


…you go back to the US and get irritated with how uptight Americans are about their silly rules.

…someone freaks out about something, your first thought is "she's just not used to it".


…no hygiene situation you could possibly encounter could shock you.


…your concept of a standing in a line - begins to look more like a scatter plot than an actual line.


…you have no concern about screaming at the taxi driver along with all the other passengers that just cut off your bus, causing a minor accident and delaying your ride home.

…you are able to play “Prostitute/Not a Prostitute” without a challange.


…you look at a Chinese menu and just start randomly pointing at symbols and willingly eat whatever ends up on your table.

…when you board a train with no ticket and are willing to stand on a two hour train ride and pay full price.



I am sure there will be many more to come. Till then…



Today’s Photo Wandering…

 

Lynn and I went to collect some paintings that we had framed this afternoon.  I took along the camera just to see what would jump out at me…Pretty normal China day.  Did discover that the “Pet Alley” now has pot belly pigs for sell.  The older man with the great dental work was quite enamored with us and followed us for a bit.  I took his picture and showed it to him.  The size of his smile was just delightful.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I have this love of mannequins. I need to do just a photo blog on mannequins of the world. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is not ultra affordable housing this is pretty middle class area.

 

 

 

The Pictures I went to pick up..one is a scroll that a local artist gave me.  Well, he gifted me the watercolor and I had it made into a traditional scroll.  The blue picture is a watercolor that I purchased at a Hopeful Heart Fundraiser.